The New PostSecret Book
10 years ago
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you were only waiting
For this moment to arise
"Blackbird" - The Beatles
ANYWAY. The recovery also included losing my ability to smell and taste. I could taste things all throughout the actual illness, but now I'm left battling a mostly clear nose, but something is up in my sinuses blocking smell from getting to my brain. The only good part about this is that I was afraid the nerves might have actually been damaged throughout the sickness, and that can take forever to go away. But this morning I noticed I could taste things if I blow my nose (only while I am physically blowing my nose, though) or otherwise bent over at the waist. Weird, right?
So I have been doubly in the dumps for the past few days. It's kind of amazing how losing your taste buds can affect a fat girl who apparently relies on food to make her feel better (healthy relationships with food are for losers). I lost all meaning for a while. I just kind of sat dully on the couch, moping and refusing to eat because it felt like a waste if I couldn't taste it, and I got no joy from it. Not even that, feeling food and being unable to taste it was a legitimate downer for me.
But I've realized I will get my sense of taste back, and while I'm suffering from this head cold, I should probably just work on how I feel about food in general. For a spell, I was able to eat when I was hungry, stop when I was full, and I actually was not worried about what I would be eating next or having a snack or anything of the sort.
So, incredibly long introduction over, I am looking to be much more productive. I went on a walk with Fiance after dinner! We went to the nearby tattoo parlour to peruse their talents and see what they could offer (for when we have money again >_o), then we went to Wendy's and got some Frosties. It was a lovely night, and I wanted to take advantage of it before the heat rolls into town tomorrow.
I even put makeup on today! That was the other upper. I don't normally make myself up, but on a shopping run for some floss and shampoo, I saw some nail polish that matches my wedding dress and some eyeshadow that might as well, so I picked them up to play with. I felt all pretty, even with my raspy voice and occasional phlegmy coughing.
So walking was nice, aside from the problem that it was warmer INSIDE most of our stops than it was outside, so I ended up all sweaty. But a nice shower fixes all problems of that nature, and thus it has been a good day.
On a side note!
The paper referenced earlier? I scrambled all weekend to finish it, then found that it wasn't due until NEXT Monday. Which means it's kind of an awful paper written in a medicated, sick haze, but at least it's mostly done!
The OTHER paper I had to work on was supposed to be due in rough draft form tomorrow, but apparently the professor of that utterly useless class (uuuuugh) decided she would rather just be done with the class due to the students' complaints. This means we have moved our Final Exam up from May 10th or sommat, to THIS THURSDAY, and the exam review is tomorrow instead.
She also moved the rough draft to being due next Monday as well.
Oh well. At least I won't have to go to that class anymore, and I can just finish up this semester and never make these mistakes again. I've learned a lot from these months, but I'd really rather have done with it and move on.
Lessons Learned:
- Don't sign up for classes too early in the morning as a commuter (or even in general)
- Don't sign up for Lit classes. Just wait for them to post their syllabi, get the books that look interesting, and read them on your own. Seriously. Every Literature class suddenly devolves into boring reading sessions in class and then you do a research paper. Ugh.
- Take some fun elective to balance the rest of the crap you go through.
- Go to class. Really. But bring a second notebook to write and doodle in when it gets dull, because it always will.
- Stop playing WoW. No, really. It only gets in the way, and it's $16 a month I paid to NOT do my homework and struggle with my grades due to apathy and distraction.
That's all for now!
G'night. :)
It’s odd, but I can tell a good day from a bad day very easily.
A good day, I wake up, I take my pills, I brush my teeth, I read my news and webcomics, I do reading for class, I pack up and I go to class.
A bad day? I’m lucky if I even wake up. But eventually I do, begrudgingly so. I take my pills, but here’s where the difference comes: A day can be decided on whether or not I brush my teeth.
It’s gross, I know, but it’s a sign of the problems I sometimes face. I do struggle with mild to moderate depression, and part of that mental disorder is the inability to do even the simplest of things, especially those that need doing.
On a bad day, I look at my toothbrush and I think, “Eh. I’ll do it later. Maybe after I eat something and read a little.” Then I mope to my computer chair, huddle under a blanket and sulk about going to class until I either go late, or skip it altogether.
So my theory is this: If a day can be determined by how I feel about brushing my teeth, can I beat the game by taking that out of the equation? If I take my pills and brush my teeth, even while I’m sulking, will that jumpstart the process of other things that must be done? Will I accept my duty and go to class anyway? Will I do my homework? Will I put down the WoW for long enough to live life?
It’s an interesting theory, at any rate.
So, little kiddies, brush your teeth. And drink your milk, and take your vitamins, and do your homework, and clean your rooms. Not because it makes your mom happy, because it just might be good for you after all. Be health and head conscious! Like me, the overweight and depressed college student who hates college!
Cheerio!
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