Memory Full - Please Delete Something
Thursday, May 06, 2010 | Filed in:

Perhaps it's just the spirit of Finals Week that has be waxing philosophical about the room in my mind, but a thought occurred to me just now.  Here I sat, gazing idly at a review sheet for a comprehensive final in Abnormal Psychology, feeling the words hit my eyes and bounce away into nothingness.  No matter how hard I try to focus on a textbook, a review sheet, my notes, any written word that I want to absorb into my comprehension, I just can't seem to do it.


I just feel like my mind is full, and there's nothing I can do to cram any more knowledge into it.

The problem, though, is that my mind is not full of useful information.  It's not full of things I will carry with me into my career.  

I make fun of my husband sometimes, because as an roleplaying game enthusiast, he seems to have book after book after book of completely useless trivia filed away in that brain of his, so much so that I wonder how he manages to get anything worthwhile in there.  He swears he does fine on his exams, and I trust him, it's just curious.

But that's not what my mind is full of.  It used to be full of facts about Pokemon, then facts about Buffy, then facts about World of Warcraft... 

Now?  Now it's just... it's full of instances where I've made a fool of myself.

It's appalling the amount of historical data I can compile about times where I looked like an idiot (to myself), where I screwed up, where things did not go right because of my own shortcomings.

And I'm really tired of it.

I want to have room for silly trivia about things I love. I want to have room for my future career.

I can't help anyone with this knowledge I'm currently carrying around like baggage full of bricks.  It's certainly not helping me.  

It's time to let it go.  It's time to stop listening.  It's time to live.

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